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Self Control 101
We often cave to our desires even when we know that repercussions will follow. Research shows that this weakness stems from the tendency to value immediate rewards more than long-term benefits, even when the far-off reward is greater. [See “Warped Sense of Time Heightens Temptations” by David H. Freedman; Scientific American MIND, March/April 2013.] Here are tips on how to resist five common temptations.
Select a scenario to learn how to fight the tempation
- The Impulse Buy
- Lured by Lust
- Lashing Out
- Breaking your Diet
- Spending Savings
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Self-Control 101
The Impulse Buy
It’s on sale and five inches wider than your current one but the flat screen TV is still way beyond your budget.
What to do before you buy:
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Self-Control 101
The Impulse Buy
1. Run some errands, eat lunch or shop for something on your list—anything that puts off your decision. Waiting dampens your need for that TV.
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Self-Control 101
Creative Commons
The Impulse Buy
2. Imagine looking at your credit card statement and seeing a balance that reflects that large purchase. Visualizing long-term consequences will make them more immediate, and help you offset your bias toward the short-term benefit of buying.
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Self-Control 101
The Impulse Buy
3. Bring your iPod and listen to classical music while shopping. Fast paced music—and other environmental cues such as the speedy service at fast food chains—accelerates your perception of time, leading you to focus on the present and discount the future.
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Self-Control 101
Lured by Lust
The new barista at your local coffee shop is just too cute not to flirt with even though you just kissed your significant other good-bye that morning.
Before you decide to become Facebook friends:
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Self-Control 101
Lured by Lust
1. Write out the possible costs of getting to know the barista and the benefits of withholding your personal information. The long-term consequences of our actions are often vague, so writing them out helps you hash out the details. Clearer consequences have a better chance of competing with a fling.
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Self-Control 101
Lured by Lust
2. Switch coffee shops. Probably the easiest strategy: out of sight, out of mind.
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Self-Control 101
Lashing Out
The guy from two desks down stole your milk—again. Later that day your boss, failing to close a deal, decides to take his frustration out on you.
Before you say something you’ll regret:
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Self-Control 101
Lashing Out
1. Give yourself a “time-out.” By stepping away from the situation for just a few minutes, you can engage with these provocateurs in a more level headed way, paving the way for resolution rather than resignation.
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Self-Control 101
Lashing Out
2. Listen to some slow music or just take a few minutes to breathe. By slowing down your mind, you’ll temper the need to “have at ‘em” at that very moment.
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Self-Control 101
Breaking Your Diet
You’ve been drinking fruit smoothies every morning and dragging yourself to the gym after work. But that chocolate bar in the vending machine beckons to you at lunch.
Before you take that mouth-watering bite:
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Self-Control 101
Breaking Your Diet
1. Go back to your desk and do something for five minutes. Just a few minutes of delay can cut your craving in half.
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Self-Control 101
Credit: Creative Commons License
Breaking Your Diet
2. Think about how long it took to lose those few stubborn pounds and the hour you’ll have to spend on the treadmill to compensate for the chocolate bar. Making future costs more concrete helps you resist caving to craving.
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Self-Control 101
Breaking Your Diet
3. If you do slip, or have slipped in the past, write down the details. Keep careful notes of the time and energy you put into trying to lose weight thus far. Logging consequences that have actually happened will make them more palpable the next time that chocolate bar taunts you.
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Self-Control 101
Spending Savings
You’ve been putting a nice chunk of your paycheck into retirement, but now you really need a new car. You are tempted to dip into your funds.
Before you do:
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Self-Control 101
Spending Savings
Think of your future self in the way you would a child or elderly parent: as someone who depends on you. Some psychologists believe that we may compromise our own financial future in part because we don’t like imagining a wrinkly, gray version of ourselves.
Thinking of the older you as a dependent, leverages your sense of obligation toward your elder self, and can help motivate the current you to boost your retirement savings rather than spend them.
